and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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