I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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