So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize