Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
