therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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