No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
