In the future we'll all be gay
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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