I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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