I faked an abortion last night.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize