OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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