Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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