Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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