Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
