i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
