they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize