wakey wakey hands off snakey
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
