I accidentally had phone sex last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
