tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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