somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
