his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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