ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
