yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
