he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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