Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
