I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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