All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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