addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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