What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
