Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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