wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
