Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
