you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
