I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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