I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize