On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
