it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
