Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
