Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize