Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
