pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The best revenge is premature balding
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
