she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
