i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
