Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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