It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
