We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
