I have demons in me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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