Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
