do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
