Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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