just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
