She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The air taste purple.
Randomize
