Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
