I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Less talking, more tequila
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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