are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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