he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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