...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i think i have two assholes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
