I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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