I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
