I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize