We're like a lot better than the average bears
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
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