this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
