So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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