you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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