do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
