isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
