She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
