i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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