she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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